Happy Graduation, KOR! :D
Been sometime since i upload this
space. July 1st marks the end of my inter in SHATEC and so right now,
I'm enjoying my long break all the way until Aug 15. Genting trip to
celebrate Mum's b day was one of the greatest trip i had this year!
Bangkok trip wasn't as great as i want it to be and i tot kukup was so
much more fun thou it was just a night spent there. Actually there was
another trip to batam tml, but due to what happen for the past days, it
had been canceled.
And also, all these while, spent such a lovely time with this boy who had silently came into my heart and then went off like a wind. Mum was so right, i always love to rush things that's y, i always lost what i have in the end. Our r/s went on and off, not only i felt insecure, i couldn't see the future in us. Knowing very well, he isn't someone i was looking for as a husband. I knew very well that he is really good to me and his love & care for me was once the greatest so far, but he had been too dependable to me which i don't want a guy to be in terms of this. I doesn't mind he might not be really rich in the future, but i want to see something and him doing something about it to make me feel secure, to make me feel assure that i could put my life in it. Been with him this short while, i could see all the tears in my mum's eyes. The "afraid", "worried" feelings is written all over her face. She scolded me in public and makes me have a dirty thought of running away from home. Feeling really rebellious and whatever she says just doesn't gets into my head. No matter how much quarrels, how his words had hurt and insulted me, i still beg over this love. Sometime i really question myself again and again why must i always wei qu myself and i felt like i had been possessed in love all the time, sometime really don't know what I'm doing. And if it was to ask a question, had i really been in love and whats love is all about, I'm afraid i couldn't answer it.
And also if you asked me if i really really love him, i really would think again before i answer you this question. Maybe he was right when he says "because you just want to find someone to accompany you caused you are bored". Now, its the end of everything. I am not begging back this love anymore. Those insulting words still haunt and hurt me inside yet i know i had no one to talk about :( And moreover, i doesn't want to see the tears in my Mum's eyes always praying for me. I had let her down all the time.
Really doesn't know who i will end up with at the end. Love hurts and it almost kill me all the time! No one understand how i felt all these while. They just see e surface yet no one know e truth that had been hidden inside. It will always stay as a mystery.
On a happier note, Bro had just graduate after a good long 4 years in NTU!! Attended his convection yesterday and its a lifetime honored and my parents greatest investment!=)Feeling so proud of his success and its definitely more to come for him in the future. So hereby, wishing him the success in his life and all the best!!! Glad he had also found e love of his life so hope to hear wedding bells soon!!!=) CONGRATS KOR!!!=)
And also, all these while, spent such a lovely time with this boy who had silently came into my heart and then went off like a wind. Mum was so right, i always love to rush things that's y, i always lost what i have in the end. Our r/s went on and off, not only i felt insecure, i couldn't see the future in us. Knowing very well, he isn't someone i was looking for as a husband. I knew very well that he is really good to me and his love & care for me was once the greatest so far, but he had been too dependable to me which i don't want a guy to be in terms of this. I doesn't mind he might not be really rich in the future, but i want to see something and him doing something about it to make me feel secure, to make me feel assure that i could put my life in it. Been with him this short while, i could see all the tears in my mum's eyes. The "afraid", "worried" feelings is written all over her face. She scolded me in public and makes me have a dirty thought of running away from home. Feeling really rebellious and whatever she says just doesn't gets into my head. No matter how much quarrels, how his words had hurt and insulted me, i still beg over this love. Sometime i really question myself again and again why must i always wei qu myself and i felt like i had been possessed in love all the time, sometime really don't know what I'm doing. And if it was to ask a question, had i really been in love and whats love is all about, I'm afraid i couldn't answer it.
And also if you asked me if i really really love him, i really would think again before i answer you this question. Maybe he was right when he says "because you just want to find someone to accompany you caused you are bored". Now, its the end of everything. I am not begging back this love anymore. Those insulting words still haunt and hurt me inside yet i know i had no one to talk about :( And moreover, i doesn't want to see the tears in my Mum's eyes always praying for me. I had let her down all the time.
Really doesn't know who i will end up with at the end. Love hurts and it almost kill me all the time! No one understand how i felt all these while. They just see e surface yet no one know e truth that had been hidden inside. It will always stay as a mystery.
On a happier note, Bro had just graduate after a good long 4 years in NTU!! Attended his convection yesterday and its a lifetime honored and my parents greatest investment!=)Feeling so proud of his success and its definitely more to come for him in the future. So hereby, wishing him the success in his life and all the best!!! Glad he had also found e love of his life so hope to hear wedding bells soon!!!=) CONGRATS KOR!!!=)
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